By not appreciating the beauty of “No!” and exercising the choice to use it, we actually pretend in relationship. We present one thing to our spouse, friend, parent, colleague, etc. while actually feeling or thinking something entirely different inwardly. Your alcoholic husband asks you to cover for him when he misses his 3rd mandatory early morning department meeting at work due to oversleeping. You want him to sober up and face the consequences of his choices. However, instead of saying “No!” and risk his passive-aggressive silent treatment, you say “Yes!” and use your creative imagination to make up yet another lie to tell his boss.
[snap url=http://heartmissiontherapy.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/the-beauty-of-no/ alt=”The Beauty of No!” by Nicole Efunnuga, M.S.” link=”http://heartmissiontherapy.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/the-beauty-of-no/” target=_blank]
One book I recommend on this topic is, “Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life,” written by Christian counselors Henry Cloud and JohnTownsend. You might know those authors from the popular Christian radio show New Life.